"Good Morning God! or Good God! Morning." ... ?

It is very easy to destroy / end anything. It is difficult to construct / make something. What is most difficult is to maintain something.
- S.T.

Said over a round of drinks, little did ST realize how much sense did his words make to a first time listener like me. He probably must not even have realized that these words will stay back in my mind.

I know how easy it is to end things - not because I have ever (I am proud that I have never given up on anyone or anything in my life) but because I have seen how easily someone gives up on something or someone that is made to be so so important by the same person. I have seen the lack of will and courage in people who I most expected to reflect these qualities. I have seen how people build up something that becomes so very important to the other and then let go of it with an ease that makes you wonder whether things were ever the way they were made out to be.

I know that it is difficult to make something. Because I have. I have had faith where things have felt absolutely impossible. I have had faith when lies have stared me straight in the face and those lies have been justified with even bigger and glaring lies. Because I believe in giving people their chance or rather chances. I have had faith and a lot of patience. I have had the strength to make something worthwhile when it was easiest to leave it be.

And I know it is extremely difficult to maintain something. I know because I am trying, trying very hard, to smile when I want to cry, to converse like I always did when I just want to be silent now, to stand up and face the world when I want to break down and hide, to believe in what I see and hear when everything that I believed in now seems like one big lie, to continue with life as though nothing has affected it when everything has changed.

There are only two ways to look at all that has happened and either way I dont like the conclusion. I dont know which way do I look at this - part of me believes I am a winner because I stood my ground always, I displayed a courage and strength that I did not know I was capable of and part of me feels I have lost - because the end is not the way I imagined it would be.