The Day When ...

• The day when someone who was the center of my life said goodbye, forever.
• The day when I finally for the first time took that someone's name in front of some really close friends.
• The day when someone for the very first time called me a name in frustration. Apologized, but the scar's never going away.
• The day when I couldn't see all the good I chose to believe for many years in someone anymore.
• The day when my dream shattered, my tears refused to stop, when I could feel a physical pain in me because my heart broke.
• The day when I actually felt a hollowness inside of me that refuses to go away.
• The day when I was petty enough to calculate all that I did for someone and how pointless it was.
• The day when I realized harshly that you cannot make someone a priority in your life when you can be an option in theirs.
• The day when I realized that I, an inherently impatient person, had been patient for 7 long tumultuous years and that it's ridiculous, I don't want to be patient ever again.
• The day when I lost all respect for someone.
• The day when I questioned being supportive, being understanding & regrettably so, I questioned loving unconditionally.
• The day when several plans made for the near and distant future lost all meaning.

Today, May 20th 2011, is the day when life as I knew it changed forever. Someone in my life died today.

Not died literally but died as much as a person could without physically dying ... as it is in reality.

Someone died and left me all alone wondering whether anything that was ever said was genuine, whether 'promises' mean anything at all, whether loyalty & trust are just hollow words, whether happy endings are just fiction, whether such absolute compatibility and love mean nothing and whether persistence & passion are pointless whereas giving up, taking the easier way out & being selfish is how one should be?

I am not bragging but I have never met anyone as positive as I have been in life till now no matter what the circumstances. Someone who believed that trust, loyalty, love, passion, perseverance, promises aren't just words but values to live by. Today, for the first time in 28 years, I don't know what to believe in anymore.